I just have to say that since yesterday when I wrote my last post I have been smiling pretty much non stop… It is a great feeling. 
Here’s the proof:
Here I Am Smiling!!!!
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I’m not sure… I know it happened sometime in the last four months. I know this because I just realized it was gone, and I can remember a time a few months back when it was here.
The strange thing is that I don’t remember how it left. But I know that it did.
This may take some of you by surprise. If you know me at all, you know that I am generally very upbeat and happy. I love life. I love being alive. I love sharing who I am with the people around me. I love making them see the beauty that is life and the strength that is within them.
You see, I have always believed in the divine nature of man. I know that we have the potential to be so much more than we are. And I know that getting there is within our power. It’s within us.
I have always told people this. I have always tried to instill in others knowledge of the strength they have inside, the power that is their vision of themselves, and the ability they have within themselves to positively affect their lives and the world around them.
Somehow lately, I stopped actively believing this for myself. I forgot that my happiness and joy was a choice I make. I forgot that I have a reason to be happy—many reasons.
A few months ago I came face to face with a realization that shocked and hurt me. And it wasn’t so much that I had never thought of it before. The shocking part was that I didn’t realize the depth of the matter or understand how deeply it would affect me.
If I had to pick a moment when the joy began to leave my life, I would say it was that moment. From then on, this realization began its strangle hold on my life. As I allowed it to strangle me, I did my best to hide it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide it—not from everyone. Some very close friends had to deal with the affects too.
Instead of learning the lesson and moving on, I let the wound fester. I focused on it. I tried to make it go away by constantly dwelling on it. I started to blame my circumstances and those around me for my unhappiness. I also started to expect that the people around me would give me the happiness I couldn’t find myself.
Along this journey, I negatively affected one of the best friendships I have ever had. I became a drag. I lost the life in me, and I expected this friend to follow me through my despair and pull me out.
I realize now how wrong I was. And how unfair. I wish I could go back and undo these last months to keep the wounds I caused from being inflicted. Unfortunately, all I can do now is learn and grow.
I am very sorry to any of you that have had to carry me these last few months. I am so indebted to you for your patience and love, and I am so sorry for any pain, frustration, or annoyance I have caused you.
To my friends who put up with me despite my recent depression, I am very sorry. I am working now to revive the life and joy that you used to associate with me.
I may be down, but I am far from done. If there’s one thing I have always believed, it’s that I can do anything I put my mind to. And so can you.
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Well, if you haven’t seen it yet, you’re one of the few. Avatar the movie (directed by James Cameron) has already grossed more than any other film in box office history other than Titanic, Cameron’s other most successful movie to date. At approx 1.7 billion dollars after only 1 month (go here to see current stats), Avatar is on pace to beat Titanic.
I saw it opening night (against my will) and again 2 days later. I also saw it in IMAX 3D about a week ago. It is one of the most visually stunning films I have ever seen – despite the fact that the majority of the visual elements in the film were computer generated. And the creativity involved in this movie (from a visual and world-creation standpoint – characters, creatures, plants, etc.) is spectacular.
Sam Worthington plays the lead male role and performs admirably. But the star of the show by far (in my opinion) is Zoe Saldana. Her physical grace and emotional depth come across beautifully even through her CGI blue alien form. Mention should also be made of the CGI experts that made blue skin not only attractive, but very real.
The only weak point in the film is the story, which follows other similar plots previously explored in Pocahontas and Fern Gully. In my opinion, the story is told well enough with good enough special effects and acting that the unoriginal plot line doesn’t bother me. In fact, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
In short, if you haven’t seen this film, I suggest you do.
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My intern showed me this video today… It’s pretty sweet. DJ Earworm takes the top 25 hits of 2009 and turns it into this awesome Mashup.
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Well looks like I’m way behind on my holidays…
I hope you all had a great time on New Year’s Eve, and I hope you all have a great year. I will continue to work on my goals, and I hope you continue to work on yours as well.
I am still working on my new album. I have finished six songs and have been working on many others as well. I will hopefully have this second album completed this year.
Even though my six pack abs didn’t completely emerge by January 1st, I have continued to work towards them as well. Since I started my journey, I’ve gained a lot of muscle and dropped from 189 to 175 pounds.
Anyway, I hope you guys remember that life is to be lived and enjoyed. If you’re not enjoying life, then figure out why not and fix it. Have a nice day
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I know this is coming a little late, but I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope you had a great time and got to see your loved ones. I hope we all can remember why we celebrate Christmas and take that message to heart.
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How I Felt This Week
Wow these last few months have been rather excruciating for me… and I mean that in the most positive way imaginable.
Does your life ever sometimes just feel like too much to handle? Mine does. And recently it’s been overwhelming me a lot. Luckily this week I think I hit rock bottom and have begun to claw my way out. Thursday night I got a blessing and yesterday I had a few realizations, as well as some needed conversations, status checks, and heart to hearts. Sorry to anyone my blueness has affected.
I felt devoid of life… like I was slipping away into blackness. So, to commemorate the occasion, I got creative. This is what I came up with: a visual representation of how I’ve been feeling lately, especially this last week. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you don’t feel this way. If you do, listen to some good music and make a decision to knock it off, turn around, and start clawing your way out.
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What is truth?
In my opinion, truth is the way things are. There is only one truth. Everyone may disagree on what it is, but that doesn’t mean there are multiple versions of it. The earth, for example, was created somehow. It was created once and in only one way. We may never know the truth of how it was created, and we may all disagree on it, but there is a truth. And there is only one truth.
In my mind, the search for truth should not be consumed with tearing down other beliefs. Truth should stand on its own and persuade people of its veracity by the pure fact that it is there. And dwelling on why something is wrong is not searching for truth either. If it is not truth, then why dwell there. Look somewhere else for the truth.
On a related topic…
I have always said that true religion and true science are the same thing.
In fact, the purpose of both religion and science are the same: to find truth. They approach their search for truth in different ways, but each still focuses on finding truth.
And because there is only one truth, if they could both uncover the truth, they would both support the same truth and therefore each other. That’s why I say true religion and true science are the same thing. For more on this topic, you can read my post titled “Truth In Fiction – Volume 1″.
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Happy Halloween!!!
I know it’s a few days late for Halloween well-wishing, but I wanted to show you all of my costumes. Yes, I had more than one. This year I dressed up three times in two days.
At work on Friday the 30th, my sister (who also works with me) wanted to dress up like cheerleaders. So, I was the stunt partner and she was the cheerleader I dropped. As you can see from the following pictures, I dropped her multiple times…
Halloween 2009: How to dress like a cheerleader
Halloween 2009: Dressed in a cheerleader costume
And in case you were wondering, those were both of our original high school cheerleading uniforms. (Hers from her freshman year and mine from my sophomore year–yes we still both fit into them ). This is not something I normally broadcast, but I was a stunt guy for three months that year (until I dropped the same girl three times and decided it wasn’t for me).
On Friday night I went to a huge dance called Midnightmare. It was pretty awesome and a ton of fun. This time I decided to dress up like a skater. It wasn’t that glamorous but it was fun. I wore a friends clothes; he is a skater and helped me dress exactly the way a skater would.
I didn’t realize all that went into dressing like a skater. I had to do the following: the shoes had to be tied exactly right, not all the way to the top so the tongue of the shoe is exposed; the pants have to be behind the tongue of the shoe (so it can be seen) but can’t drag on the floor; you have to be able to see the back of the shoe, and if the pants are too long you can roll them up one small time; you have to sag your pants so your boxers can be seen; you have to tie a shoelace around your waste for a belt and let the two loose ends hang so they can be seen beneath your x-large shirt with the tall tee underneath it. On my head I wore a Dirty Ghetto Kids hat with cool new white headphones that had to cross the hat perfectly above the button on the top. Here is what I looked like as a skater:
Halloween 2009: Ty is the INnOut guy, Aaron is the Injun, I am the Skater
How to dress like a skater
And of course I have to include a picture of me tearing up the dance floor at Midnightmare…
Halloween 2009: How to dress and dance like a skater
On Saturday the 31st I dressed up as a goth. For this one my friend Jenny helped me out. I basically just did what she told me: I wore all black with a black studded belt, painted my fingernails black, and put on light foundation on my face, some type of powder, and then eyeliner around my eyes… Boy was the eyeliner hard to remove at the end of the night. Anyway, here are the pictures…
Halloween 2009: Me as a goth
with the trenchcoat
At the Pandemonium Circus Barn Party I went to Halloween
So these were my three costumes this year. Pretty exciting…
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This is what happened yesterday when I was working. I was in the middle of showing one of my employees what to do on a project we were working on when my computer started thinking really slow and I got the first notification of a security risk to my computer. Then I got another one. That’s when I called one of my tech guys to come and look at it. While he was trying to fix it my computer just freaked out and started going crazy. Luckily my quick reflexes allowed me to grab my cell phone and capture the pandemonium This is what my computer screen looked like. This would be hilarious if it hadn’t been my computer and if it hadn’t kept me from working the entire day…
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