I just have to say that since yesterday when I wrote my last post I have been smiling pretty much non stop… It is a great feeling.

Here’s the proof:

Here I Am Smiling!!!!

I’m not sure… I know it happened sometime in the last four months. I know this because I just realized it was gone, and I can remember a time a few months back when it was here.

The strange thing is that I don’t remember how it left. But I know that it did.

This may take some of you by surprise. If you know me at all, you know that I am generally very upbeat and happy. I love life. I love being alive. I love sharing who I am with the people around me. I love making them see the beauty that is life and the strength that is within them.

You see, I have always believed in the divine nature of man. I know that we have the potential to be so much more than we are. And I know that getting there is within our power. It’s within us.

I have always told people this. I have always tried to instill in others knowledge of the strength they have inside, the power that is their vision of themselves, and the ability they have within themselves to positively affect their lives and the world around them.

Somehow lately, I stopped actively believing this for myself. I forgot that my happiness and joy was a choice I make. I forgot that I have a reason to be happy—many reasons.

A few months ago I came face to face with a realization that shocked and hurt me. And it wasn’t so much that I had never thought of it before. The shocking part was that I didn’t realize the depth of the matter or understand how deeply it would affect me.

If I had to pick a moment when the joy began to leave my life, I would say it was that moment. From then on, this realization began its strangle hold on my life. As I allowed it to strangle me, I did my best to hide it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide it—not from everyone. Some very close friends had to deal with the affects too.

Instead of learning the lesson and moving on, I let the wound fester. I focused on it. I tried to make it go away by constantly dwelling on it. I started to blame my circumstances and those around me for my unhappiness. I also started to expect that the people around me would give me the happiness I couldn’t find myself.

Along this journey, I negatively affected one of the best friendships I have ever had. I became a drag. I lost the life in me, and I expected this friend to follow me through my despair and pull me out.

I realize now how wrong I was. And how unfair. I wish I could go back and undo these last months to keep the wounds I caused from being inflicted. Unfortunately, all I can do now is learn and grow.

I am very sorry to any of you that have had to carry me these last few months. I am so indebted to you for your patience and love, and I am so sorry for any pain, frustration, or annoyance I have caused you.

To my friends who put up with me despite my recent depression, I am very sorry. I am working now to revive the life and joy that you used to associate with me.

I may be down, but I am far from done. If there’s one thing I have always believed, it’s that I can do anything I put my mind to. And so can you.

Well, I call this update 16, but it’s really like week 20.  I haven’t updated every week, but I’ve done better than I thought.

This is my first update since I posted my goal-time six pack abs photos, even though I didn’t quite meet the goal I had set.  My new goal is  now March 1st.

I have continued eating healthy and have tried variations of my diet to make it easier on me.  I find it very difficult to eat 100% healthy 100% of the time.  It’s impossible for me, so I don’t worry about it.  This last week, for example, I sorta took off.  I still tried to eat healthy but didn’t worry about it as much.  Work was too stressful to stress over my diet too.

Sleep has been pretty good.  I don’t always make my midnight curfew, but I’ve been pretty good about getting my 7 hours.  I wish I could get 9 every night

As for working out, I have started a new workout.  I’m only weight lifting four times a week.  I need to be doing more cardio, and am probably going to start doing Bikram Yoga.  It will be much better than running and will burn way more calories.  (If you haven’t tried it you definitely should… it’s hard, but awesome).

And now on to the six pack abs photos… I finally realized I’d only been flexing my six pack abs in my previous photos.  In these I flexed my arms as well…

Well, if you haven’t seen it yet, you’re one of the few.  Avatar the movie (directed by James Cameron) has already grossed more than any other film in box office history other than Titanic, Cameron’s other most successful movie to date.  At approx 1.7 billion dollars after only 1 month (go here to see current stats), Avatar is on pace to beat Titanic.

I saw it opening night (against my will) and again 2 days later.  I also saw it in IMAX 3D about a week ago.  It is one of the most visually stunning films I have ever seen – despite the fact that the majority of the visual elements in the film were computer generated.  And the creativity involved in this movie (from a visual and world-creation standpoint – characters, creatures, plants, etc.) is spectacular.

Sam Worthington plays the lead male role and performs admirably.  But the star of the show by far (in my opinion) is Zoe Saldana.  Her physical grace and emotional depth come across beautifully even through her CGI blue alien form.  Mention should also be made of the CGI experts that made blue skin not only attractive, but very real.

The only weak point in the film is the story, which follows other similar plots previously explored in Pocahontas and Fern Gully.  In my opinion, the story is told well enough with good enough special effects and acting that the unoriginal plot line doesn’t bother me.  In fact, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

In short, if you haven’t seen this film, I suggest you do.

My intern showed me this video today… It’s pretty sweet.  DJ Earworm takes the top 25 hits of 2009 and turns it into this awesome Mashup.

Well January 1st has come and gone, and I am late in reporting my progress.  I am sorry to say that I did not quite make the six pack abs goal I had originally set for myself last August…

But I am going to continue working on it.  My new goal date is March 1st, 2010.  Luckily, I have seen a lot of progress and am very excited about how far I’ve come.  I have gained a lot of muscle and have lost around 14 pounds in total (which means I’ve lost more than 14 pounds of fat )  I found some pictures I took of myself last April, and let’s just say I am in way better shape now.  I contemplated posting those non six pack abs photos, but decided I didn’t want to embarrass myself any further than I already have .

Since I set my goal at the end of July 2009, I have completely changed my diet, my workout, my sleep patterns, and my entire lifestyle.  I feel so healthy and full of life.  I love it.

I’m actually sorta glad I didn’t hit my goal… I have to reset it, and continue on, even though I had hoped I’d be done by now.  I am teaching myself that just because something is hard doesn’t mean I can’t do it.  And I’m not going to give up.

Anyway, here are my six pack abs photo updates:

The regular six pack abs photos below were taken on January 9th (I know… I’m a little late and behind lol) and show my progress in multiple lighting situations.  The camera phone photo is just a bonus… I took it on Christmas Morning .

Six Pack Abs Photo From My Camera Phone

Well looks like I’m way behind on my holidays…

I hope you all had a great time on New Year’s Eve, and I hope you all have a great year.  I will continue to work on my goals, and I hope you continue to work on yours as well.

I am still working on my new album.  I have finished six songs and have been working on many others as well.  I will hopefully have this second album completed this year.

Even though my six pack abs didn’t completely emerge by January 1st, I have continued to work towards them as well.  Since I started my journey, I’ve gained a lot of muscle and dropped from 189 to 175 pounds.

Anyway, I hope you guys remember that life is to be lived and enjoyed.  If you’re not enjoying life, then figure out why not and fix it.  Have a nice day

I know this is coming a little late, but I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!  I hope you had a great time and got to see your loved ones.  I hope we all can remember why we celebrate Christmas and take that message to heart.

Okay, so this post is a little late, but not as late as you’re probably thinking.  I have previously been taking my six pack abs photos on Wednesday mornings, but that was too stressful in the morning before I headed out to work.  So instead, I switched my six pack abs photos day to Saturday.  That’s when I’ll be taking them from now on.

Let’s review the 4 rules I set for myself for getting six pack abs:

1. Workout 5 days a week – Check!  This one is probably the easiest of the four.  I guess sometimes I only workout four days, but pretty consistently I do a five day a week workout schedule.  It helps to have someone to work out with who will push me when we’re working out, who wants to work out as much or more than me.

2. Eat healthy 6 days a week – Check!  When I started this, I thought this one would be the hardest.  I loved to eat food, and especially bad food (like sugar, fast food, and simple carbohydrates like chips ).  I figured it would be hard to change eating habits I’d accumulated over many years.  But, after a month or two of healthy eating, this one has become second nature.  I can’t help question what I’m eating.  And most of the sugary stuff and fast food makes me sick to my stomach, which makes it easy to avoid .

3. Sleep at least 7-8 hours every night – Hmmmmm…  Well, this one is harder to do than I thought it would be-though I am relatively successful at it (at least 70%).  I did recently learn that sleeping lowers your cortisol levels, which helps to get rid of extra fat in the abdominal area.  I actually just read here about the effects of elevated cortisol levels… very interesting read.  I have been trying to get more sleep so my body has time to rejuvenate, my muscles have time to rebuild, and my cortisol levels have time to lower.

4. Be in bed by midnight Sunday through Thursday – FAIL!  This one is by far the hardest of all of my four rules.  I probably have a 20% completion rate on this one.  This rule was set up partly to insure the success of rule #3, but also because I think being in bed by midnight is healthy, and will help my body to reach it’s full potential.  I haven’t read anywhere that says this same thing, it’s just something I feel.  Also, in my Church they suggest “early to bed, early to rise”.  Now I don’t feel like I do either of those very well, but being in bed by midnight to me is early.  I will continue to work on this one…

Anyway, here are my current six pack abs photos.  Because I take these every week, sometimes I feel like I look exactly the same.  If you disagree and can see progress, I would love to know .

Six Pack Abs Photos Update 14 Photo 1

Six Pack Abs Photos Update 14 Photo 2

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How I Felt This Week

Wow these last few months have been rather excruciating for me… and I mean that in the most positive way imaginable.

Does your life ever sometimes just feel like too much to handle?  Mine does.  And recently it’s been overwhelming me a lot.  Luckily this week I think I hit rock bottom and have begun to claw my way out.  Thursday night I got a blessing and yesterday I had a few realizations, as well as some needed conversations, status checks, and heart to hearts.  Sorry to anyone my blueness has affected.

I felt devoid of life… like I was slipping away into blackness.  So, to commemorate the occasion, I got creative.  This is what I came up with:  a visual representation of how I’ve been feeling lately, especially this last week.  I hope you enjoy, and I hope you don’t feel this way.  If you do, listen to some good music and make a decision to knock it off, turn around, and start clawing your way out.

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