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People are like flowers. There are no two that are exactly the same, yet each is as beautiful, brilliant, and complex as the next.
The human experience is like the life cycle of a flower. Its birth and death do not diminish its beauty. And even in death, its delicate beauty can still be seen.
Blue Lily
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I had two conversations tonight that touched on being picky. Why is it that “picky” has such a negative connotation?
I found this picture of me being picky.
Picky is a word that many people have used to describe me (including myself). And it is most often used when talking about members of the opposite sex.
I am told I shouldn’t be so picky; that I need to lower my standards; that I’ll never find someone because my expectations are unreal.
To all those people who think picky is a four letter word, I’d like to give you my opinion of why picky is not only okay, it’s the perfect way to be.
Here I am being picky again.
What does picky mean? According to Merriam-Webster, picky is “fussy, or choosy.” Choosy means “fastidiously selective” or “particular,” and one of the multiple definitions of fussy is “requiring or giving close attention to details.” When looking for a mate, both of these are qualities worth having.
I expect my future companion to stimulate me on many levels. The first of these is physical attraction. I must be attracted physically, and it needs to be a strong attraction. If this attraction is not there, the likelihood I’ll try looking for the other levels of attraction is not very good.
The second is intellectual attraction. If she is boring, you can’t expect me to pursue her.
Wow I am so picky
The third is emotional attraction. If she doesn’t have any emotions (or has too many), you can’t expect me to be interested.
The fourth (and possibly the most important) is spiritual attraction. Not only must she have similar beliefs as me, they must also be important to her as mine are to me. If we don’t match in this area, a future is likely impossible.
I normally sum all of these up by saying I have two requirements: (1) that she be attractive (2) that I want to spend time with her. It is not my fault that I can’t find girls that match these criteria. But I hope you can understand why I feel a future companion should.
I'm even picky when I'm on my phone
In my mind, being picky is recognizing the options that are out there, evaluating them against what you are looking for, and dismissing the options that do not fit your criteria. If this is picky, then I wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm embrace my pickiness.
I don’t think it would be fair to be with someone I didn’t adore–or to feel like I’ve settled. It wouldn’t be fair to me, and it would definitely not be fair to her.
This post may sound harsh to some. It is not my intent to be harsh, only to tell the truth as I see it–the truth as I feel it.
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I can’t let what other people think or say drag me down. When other people laugh at my dreams or make fun of my ambitions, I just shrug it off. It can be hard (especially if it’s family or friends), but it is necessary.
What I am doing is important to me. That is all that matters.
Someday I’ll find a girl that thinks like I think. I want to share my page with someone, and I don’t want to have to explain it to her. I think that is what is known as “clicking”. I want to “click”. I’m sure someday I will, but of course I’m okay with waiting. When it happens, it will be that much sweeter because of the wait.
Here is a picture of me waiting…
Here I am waiting
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I went and saw All About Steve tonight. It was a much better movie-going experience than the one I had last night. Plus, surprise surprise, the movie takes place in Sacramento! 
Sandra Bullock played a quirky crossword puzzle maker, and Bradley Cooper played a news cameraman. He was the object Sandra Bullock’s character stalked throughout the movie.
I went thinking this would be a romantic comedy, but it was more just a comedy about believing in yourself and being okay with who you are. Sandra Bullock’s character was different, and everyone knew it. The best part is that she didn’t try to change who she was. She was okay with her quirkiness and accepted it. By the end of the movie, so was I. In fact, I thought she was wonderful–despite her quirkiness.
It’s interesting how movies make me think. I’ve often thought that we all need to learn to be okay with who we are. I used to have major issues with who I was, and even hated certain things about me. It was very unhealthy and self-destructive. I think I’m much happier now… In fact, I love who I am. I know there are things I need to work on, but that’s okay. I’m human, and as I learn and grow, I will be able to smooth out some of my imperfections.
Anyway, I would suggest this movie to anyone who’s in the mood to see a good comedy. I wouldn’t say it was great, but it was entertaining and worth my time and money. Here’s the trailer…
If you see this movie, I’d love to know what you think about it. What was your favorite part?
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I got a text from a friend yesterday, and he was frustrated with where he is in life. He wants to escape, even though that’s probably not the most prudent thing he could do.
I suggested that he bear with it for a while longer. I also told him that it wouldn’t last forever.
I also think it’s important to remember that part of what makes life beautiful are the things that are ugly. Our beautiful experiences are enhanced by the ugliness we are asked to endure.
I told him:
“just think…
when you get where you wanna be,
it will be that much sweeter
because you were here”
I’ve realized in my life that the ugly and bad help to accentuate the beautiful and good–without them, the beautiful wouldn’t be as bright.
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It’s 3 am and I should be sleeping…
Why do I always feel like there’s never enough time? A friend told me recently that we really only have time for one extra-curricular activity… For him it’s the gym. For me, it switches back and forth. I should be spending more time promoting my music, but for some reason other things always get in the way.
For example, my full-time job; volleyball on Thursdays; racquetball Wednesdays; gym every day; the lake some days; hanging out with friends most days; Church on Sunday; sleep every night; and who can forget the current book that I’m reading? I can’t–especially since my brother reminds me that he is waiting for me to finish it so he can start it.
Do you ever feel like you are bigger than the world you live in? Do you ever feel like you are meant for greater things?
I totally feel that way. And yet, I think that I am the biggest obstacle to achieving those greater things.
I recently told myself that I was going to stop being a child. Children flit around and do whatever they want. They have no care in the world. They have no responsibility. They have a ton of fun but rarely achieve any great things.
That’s how I feel I’ve been for the last few years. I’ve had a great time, but I haven’t affected the world as I wish I could.
I used to pray that God would give me the pain of others so they wouldn’t have to suffer. I have since realized that that is a selfish desire. It is through pain and suffering that we grow stronger. By taking other people’s pain, I’d be taking from them the opportunity to grow and become stronger.
While I have not always enjoyed the struggles I have in my life, I have always tried to be thankful for them. They have made me who I am and helped me to sculpt myself into the man I want to be, and the man God knows I can be.
Anyway, it’s late and I should be tired, but I’m not. My heart is full and my mind is alert. I feel like I can change the world–if only my voice could be heard.
If you read this, I hope you recognize how amazing you are. I may not know you personally, but I really feel like every person I have ever met has the potential to be brilliant and amazing. I hope you can see that in yourself.
Well, my thoughts continue but my fingers feel like they’ve written enough. If you get a chance, check out my friend Catherine Papworth. She’s got a great voice and writes beautiful music.
Wow. I just read through this post and I seem to have wandered much as I typed. Hope you enjoy it anyway.
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I’ve recognized a trend among people… Some people think that humility means that you downplay, overlook, or ignore the greatness within you. After all, can I be humble if I admit that I’m an amazing singer, or artist, or businessman?
My thought is that to be truly humble, you must not only recognize the greatness within you, you must also embrace it. You must not be ashamed of it.
Sometimes I think our culture tries to make everyone the same. And sometimes the ones that stand out are the ones that get ridiculed the most. So we try not to stand out.
My hope for people is that they will look at themselves and see what it is about them that makes them great. So many of us look at ourselves and only see the negative aspects. We dwell on those things. We hate those things. Our self-esteem is low because of them.
If we could instead accept who we are and that we are not perfect, our lives will be so much better. Once we recognize that we have things to work on, we can begin the work. And by also paying attention to the positive things about us, we can begin to develop self-love for who we are.
Jesus Christ taught that the most important commandment was to love God first. After that, we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Many people overlook the fact that he commands us to love ourselves.
If we are truly humble, I believe that we will learn to recognize our greatness and our weakness, and to be okay with both. It is time that we stop being ashamed of who we are; that we accept who we are; and that we love who we are.
I hope you will join me in this…
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While driving across the desert the other day, I randomly spoke what I thought was a pretty interesting (and even profound) thought:
“Time is weird. It always feels like now.”
If you think about it, at every moment of our lives, it is now. All we can really experience is the present. We can remember the past and look to the future, but the present is all we can experience.
Can we measure time? A clock marks the passing of time, but it does not in itself measure time. A cup of flour can be measured. A glass of water can be measured. But we as humans do not possess a way to measure time. We can only take note of its passing.
When God says He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega, is He really saying that He lives outside of time and can therefore measure it like we measure a glass of water?
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